Wednesday, April 6, 2011


It's been a while since I've been on to blog. Sorry to any of you that read it.

I have a lot on my mind at the moment... and I have no clue what to say, what would be right to say, or how to even start.

I guess I'll start by explaining that I haven't been on in so long because I've been busy. I was sick for a little bit of the time and then just busy.

I've been getting better at doing more cleaning and that means that once again I'll have to work on the whole cooking thing. I'm most definitely not your average wife, not that not being like me is a bad thing, but certain people have high expectations and think that all the world should be the same. Sure if we went back to where wives didn't work (couldn't work) then house work should be what they do, but even then some people put WAY to much importance on things that don't matter and they forget the things that do. Sorry when I'm laying in my death bed or have a friend or family laying in their deathbed I won't be thinking about cleaning, I'll be thinking about all the things in my loved ones life (lives) that I've missed and all the time I wasted on stupid things instead of being with them. Just think about it, imagine it... you'll agree.

Speaking of death I know someone that was given a short amount of time to live by the doctor, I'm not close to this person, but I find myself troubled. This person is only a couple of years older than my husband, has a husband, children, goes to church, believes in miracles and healing,... And she has personally seen God's healing powers in her child. I know that God is able to do ANYTHING, but I find myself just 'holding my breath' waiting to see if his answer will be yes or no. If yes, that's AMAZING, but if no, what about her husband and her kids, all of her friends, family, church family,...the heartache and pain that they will all feel. I can't help, but have a broken heart (or in the words of Dr. Brennan on Bones, it's heart crushing; since the heart doesn't break, but gets crushed) just thinking about it. The mourning process, the moving on, the possibility of finding someone new, trying not to compare the old person with the new person,... just everything about it is heart crushing. I pray for them for a miracle of healing and for peace in which ever form God chooses.

Ok off the heavy for now. I've been playing Fallout 3 on the Xbox 360. My own game and I've made it to level 15 or 16, only having help once! I'm so proud of myself! I can't wait to finish the game! I have trouble playing Fallout in front of my husband though, he hates the way I do things on the game so he ends up in a bad mood and starts his frustrated yelling (not that I'm particularly fond of every move he makes in the game either) I also have a problem playing in front of his because I'm afraid I'll mess up in front of him. I know that messing up is a part of life and that I am only human, but I'm constantly trying to impress him.

Unfortunately he would prefer that I cook and have a spotless house, and other things such as those, I don't always find the necessity in those things. Why should I have to cook when we could just heat something up or throw a pizza in the oven? And why should the house be perfectly clean? It's not like it's going to stay that way. Yes, yes, that's where most people say well why do you take a bath you're just going to get dirty again. I'm not saying to let the house stink or to let it be a wreck I'm just saying why should I waste my time trying to make it perfect, when there's no such thing, besides God.

Currently I'm watching Miles play Fallout 3. I play in the mornings while he's at work and he plays when he gets home. We eat somewhere in between, normally just fend for ourselves.

Today has been a beautiful day, wonderful weather. We have the windows open even now. The cats have been sitting in the windows watching the cars and the birds, oh and our loud neighbors. I hope the weather continues to be like this (and even better)

Well, I think I'm going to get off of here now... I'm craving some pizza. And no I'm not pregnant, normal non pregnant people can have cravings too!

Have a good night everyone! God bless.

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