Snow Storm

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE snow and ice? Well, if not, I do! And unfortunately there's a snow storm coming, possible 10 in or more. Plus possible 2 in of ice, which could cause all the electricity to go out. So basically everyone is in a huge hurry running around grabbing food, water, blankets,.... whatever they need.

In other words when I go to walmart to fill the bread I'm going to be going insane and wanting to kill people who get in my way!

So PLEASE pray that the power doesn't go out, but if it does that it won't be for long.

Nosy people

I hate when I try to not bring up something and I'm clearly not saying much while they're talking about it, which should hint that you're really not wanting to talk about it, but people just don't take the hint and keep "pressing on." Darn nosy people! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am NOT alone

I've recently learned that some of my dis-functional family is actually behind me in some of my thinking and my decisions and that's the part of my family that shares no blood with me. I'm very thankful for them especially since I've always felt like the outsider in both sides of my family.

I've also learned that I have a few real friends behind me that care for me and want good things for me. And I am thankful for them as well.

I've spent a lot of my life thinking that I was alone and that no one understood or cared, but this past week or two has really proven that I'm not alone and I do have people that will stand behind me. Which makes me cry, but in a happy, sort of relieved way :)

Here's my news

For all of you who have been patiently or not so patiently waiting, I received my call. The wait is finally over. The message that was left stated that my blood work came back good, so no health issues and ..... also that there's going to be no big change in our lives this year.
So what does this mean? This means that some of you will rejoice, such as my mother, my step father, and I'm sure some others. Some of you will "cry" (maybe not literally), such as me, a few family members, and a bunch of friends. And some of you will keep going through life not giving a hoot, such as people who will remain nameless. No matter what party you represent I'm not looking for a pity party.
It is what it is. I'll count my blessings for my health!
(Caution possible offending section- read at your own risk)
I'll wait for the day when a baby in my life will be "more reasonable" and when I'll not hear the words "irresponsible" so much. Because like it or not the way I see it NO ONE is ever completely prepared for a baby. NO ONE has enough money for all the things that come after having a baby. And a baby will ALWAYS be a surprise because even if you're trying to get pregnant there's never a 100% chance that it'll happen. Believe what you want, keep saying in the back of your mind that I'm wrong, that's fine because that's your opinion, but I'm quite done with everyone saying the my opinion is the wrong opinion and that people that think like me are stupid or irresponsible.
Some people are just to boring to hope to have some adventure or some surprise that's going to totally blindside them from all their carefully laid out plans. And a baby would be a good surprise, I'm not saying I'm so (fill in the blank with whatever word you want) that I want a tornado, a snow storm, to lose a job,... yada, yada, yada. And sorry but I've never been a big fan of planning things out. Sure I don't want a big surprise all the time, but life is to if boring it's just planned out. Let good things come to you stop trying to plan the good things, because more than likely you'll end up with a lot of bad things.

First Time having blood drawn...

Today I had my blood drawn for the first time (since I was a baby lol) I made it!! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still uncomfortable. I unfortunately have not received a phone call today, but hopefully tomorrow they will have everything tested and let me know what's going on. Hoping for a clean bill of health and a baby would be great, but I'll be ok if I'm not pregnant. I will eventually have a baby, it may not be through me getting pregnant, maybe I'll adopt, but somehow it'll happen. I'm excited for when it happens!
I'll update when I know something!! :D

Doctor's Visit

Today I go to the doctor's office to see exactly what is going on with me. If I'm pregnant than AWESOME!!!! If I'm not than I'll be a little depressed :/ If I have a health issue like thyroid problems or something like that then... well, lets just hope it's something easily cured with pills :)I can't wait to get this over with I hate going to the doctor's office, I hate needles, and I hate this nervous feeling in my stomach!! My step-dad also had to go to the doctor's office and it's the same doctor so him and my mom will be picking me up here soon. So pray all goes well and that I can stop being so nervous!
Will update when I know something!

Assumptions

I must admit that I am enjoying knowing that so many people care about me, but I also at time find it just a bit overwhelming. So many questions and comments, people asking my family members about me, assuming I'm pregnant,.... yada, yada, yada,... I just wish that people would consider that it's rude to just assume things and that it's rude to ask my our my husband's family about things such as babies. I feel that a baby is a personal thing especially before it's a for sure thing. If we find out that I am for sure pregnant than I wouldn't mind the questions about a baby.. just needed to get that out.

Stomach Is To Upset and I'm To Stressed To Sleep

I can't get comfortable enough to sleep because my stomach is bugging me more than usual. I'm not sure if the tacos I ate just didn't agree with my stomach or if this is the whole possible health/possible pregnancy issue.

It also doesn't help that I have way to much on my mind. I'm stressing over a lot of things and that is horrible on a baby. And as I stressed about possibly being pregnant I looked over to my nightstand and realized I was drinking sweet tea, which isn't good for a baby either so then I started to worry about that. So I basically have a never ending list of worries and stress because my eating style isn't good for a baby and with how I've been painting.... UGH!

I honestly am finding myself more than willing and even happy to set up an appointment and go to the doctors that way I'll at least know if I'm pregnant or not.

I been asked, "Do you want to be pregnant?", "Do you want a baby?" or whatever other wording has been used. I basically end up answering, "It is what it is. I'll be excited if I am pregnant and I'll be a little upset if I'm not."

When my whole "problem" started I hated the idea that I could possibly be pregnant, but then I totally changed and I was excited so I decided to take a test and that test was negative so I thought maybe it's just to early so I took another one a week or two later and it was also negative, which was very depressing. I figure the test would know what it was talking about so I just went on with my life not thinking about it, but when I realized that another month had gone by and that I hadn't had my period I started to get worried and now here I am at 11:41pm I can't go to sleep and I have work in the morning (not my bread job, but my office job)

I am so exhausted right now, I keep waking up kinda slow, getting a good amount of energy after a few hours, and then nearly falling over at night. I don't know where the energy from the morning is coming from and I don't know why I get so tired so quickly.

But another thing that is really bugging me is how on earth to lay so that I can sleep! I try to lay on my back and that isn't comfortable partly because I can't find a place to lay my arms because if I put them on my stomach it makes my stomach more upset and I can't put them to my sides because that's not comfortable. If I lay on my sides my stomach nearly "screams" in frustration.

I need a therapist, a masseuse, a doctor, an interior decorator, a maid, and a butler! And I need them now! I also need someone else to pay for it all! A therapist to help with my stress, a masseuse to help with my back and neck pains, a doctor (which should be first on my list) to help me figure out what on earth is going on inside me, an interior designer to help fix up my house (I HATE white walls!), and I'm pretty sure the maid and butler are self explanatory.

Happy Sleeping!!!! (Hopefully for both you and myself!)

Grandparents

 

This is a picture of my husband and his grandma at our wedding.

Our wedding was the last "big event" she got to go to before her bypass surgery. They didn't know about how bad her insides were, so they did the surgery, but needless to say she died.

Looking back at that day still makes me tear up. Not because I knew her well because I didn't, there was no strong connection between her and I, but she was family. At the hospital I remember the sad faces and the tears of my new family. As I watched them cry so as it says in the bible in Romans 12:15 (King James Version)15Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.... So I wept with those that wept. Not because it said so in the bible, but because when someone you love is in pain it causes you to also be in pain. It was such a tragedy after all only a month or so before her surgery was our wedding where we were all rejoicing, but as it says in the bible in Ecclesiastes 3 1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2A time to be born, and a time to die;... Unfortunately it was her time.

There are days when I can tell something is wrong. It's those days when my husband is deep in thought. Some days it's nothing, but about once or twice a month when I ask he'll say I miss my grandma and grandpa.

I don't know what exactly causes him to think about them, it could be seeing an older person or an outfit someone is wearing, but it doesn't really matter what caused it, because for a while we will just sit and talk about them. I've heard about them both, but I guess it's easier for me to remember things about his grandma because I'd met her.

His grandma,Mildred (she went by Louise) was full of life, caring, and a fun person to be around, of course that's just naming a few things. I remember the first time I went to her house she kept saying "go to the kitchen and get something to eat" she was constantly trying to feed us. And I remember it was either Christmas or Thanksgiving she wanted us to all just take a few moments and remember Miles' grandpa, which of course was just to much to ask for one of her daughters whom will remain nameless. I wish I could have had more time to get to know his Grandma.

As for his grandpa, Donald, I know he was a plumber and that at family events he would always be the one with the camera. I was told he always had the camera strapped to his neck ready to take a picture. I don't know much more than that, but I do intend to learn more. From what I've heard of him I wish I could have met him. Miles and I have his camera and one of his white work jumpers and some other things such as tools and nic-nacs. But no pictures, I intend on changing that.

Well, I've told you most of what I know on this subject, but I do want to say something. If you're lucky enough to have your grandparents in your life don't take it for granted! Take it from someone who never knew her grandpas due to death and never had a chance to be close to her grandmas due to distance and families not getting along. Grandparents ARE important learn all you can about them, learn from their mistakes, listen to their stories, write it all down, remember every moment and then if you have kids tell them everything about them because they'll want to know. How do I know? Because I wish I knew about my grandmas and grandpas and my great grandmas and grandpas and so on and so forth.

What's Going On W/ Me (Worries)

I've been searching www.WebMD.com to see what I could have due to my symptoms and searching just the web in general for 2 days now. Still knowing only a little more than before on what could be wrong with me (if there is in fact anything wrong) I keep reading about different things that people say it could be and each one is slightly scary. I could be pregnant and just not have high enough hormone levels for an at home birth control test, which being pregnant would be scary, but I'd take that over some of the other thing. It's also possible that I'm pregnant, but that it's an Ectopic pregnancy, which would mean I would lose the baby no matter what so I am praying that that isn't the case. And the last one I'll name is thyroid problems, which run in my family so that wouldn't be shocking and I would gladly take that over the Ectopic pregnancy. So if you're reading this and you pray please keep me in your prayers.




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Worried Friends

I suddenly have a ton of people worrying about me and my issue of not having a period and my getting sick. Which I guess I understand the worry to an extent, but really I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure God's not done with me yet, so if something is wrong then He'll fix it :) Just thought I'd let everyone know. :P I'm glad that everyone cares though!

What is happening to me?

Nausea/vomiting, exhaustion, no period for 3 months, headaches,.... and I've taken 3 pregnancy tests all weeks and/or months apart and they've all come out negative. So someone tell me what on earth is going on?!

January 18, 2011

So today I woke up at 10am, which is not my normal wake up time, but I was feeling really tired so I decided to sleep in. Once I woke up I decided I would get on the Wii Fit and weigh myself before I ate anything so I did.

The longer I was up the more grumpy I noticed I was. I hate waking up grumpy, if I'm going to be up I want to be happy! You feel the same way right? I guess that was to much to ask for this morning though.

So far today I have weighed myself on the Wii Fit, exercised on the Wii Fit, ate, watched Twilight, been a pillow to 2 of my cats, and started watching New Moon. Oh and I also tried to be a little creative and draw, but it just wasn't working very well so I decided to give up. It's not that I'm bad at creative stuff, but I just need some lessons and some practice.

I still need to finish catching up on the rest of the dishes, which luckily there are only a few, fold some laundry, and pick up some of the "clutter" in the house.

Everything I've done today sounds pretty boring right? I'll tell you it definitely isn't. Today is my only day that I don't HAVE to go anywhere so I'm just trying to relax, if I don't get the stuff done that needs done then I'll do it tomorrow. After all my favorite saying when it comes to cleaning is, "It can wait, it's not like it's going anywhere!" Lol.

First Hospital Visit

So Saturday at around 11:00am my husband was at work. They had scheduled them to work so that they could paint the floors not everyone was there just the higher ups and a few people they chose to help them. Did I ever tell you my husband became a Lead Op or aka a higher up? Well, if I didn't he did. Lol.


Anyways I guess there was this paint roller and the roller cover was to long so Miles decided to cut off the extra inch or however much so that it would fit properly. While he was cutting the cover he ended up cutting his hand, he cut the part below the thumb (not sure what it's called).


He text me while he was at the hospital and told me that he'd cut his hand and that he was at the hospital because he had to get stitches. He ended up having to get 12 stitches! Thankfully he didn't hit a tendon or anything dangerous.


He still has to go to work, which is where he is at this moment, but he has some medication to help with pain and some antibiotic to make sure he doesn't get an infection.

I'll try to upload some pictures so you can see what it looks like. Just as long as everyone remember SAFETY FIRST!



P.S. After the whole incident they decided to tell him that he was supposed to cut it with some ax. Great timing! LOL



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I'm not one of his favorites

So I've been very stressed recently. I've been painting, the housework has gotten behind due to my painting, and I haven't been able to sleep very well because there are so many different things going through my head. But the things that has been bugging me the most is that someone I know that was a major role in my life a few years ago hates me or in my words I'm not one of his favorite people. In case you are wondering yes he's an ex and anyone that went to school with me at FCA for my last 2 years would know who I was talking about. And I understand when someone breaks up with you it takes a while to get back to a kind of friendship, but it's been a while and this person had asked me to go out and get coffee (I think was what the offer was) and that was about a year ago, but I was married and it wouldn't have been appropriate plus my husband is a very jealous person especially when it comes to my ex's so I said that I couldn't. But now all of a sudden around a year later the fact of knowing (through a family member of his) that he dislikes me so greatly is bugging me! So of course now I'm having to play detective and ask all these questions of why?! And I wasn't going to ask I was hoping it would just go away and I'd forget about it, but I can't. The fact of knowing that there's this hatred towards me is just eating away at me. So now so I can sleep and a. not think about someone hating me instead of sleeping or b. falling asleep and dreaming of that person hating me. If you can't tell I really don't like when someone hates me. I mean you can dislike me all you want and I'll sleep just fine, but when I think that you hate me that's to far.

Well I text him. Come to find out he says he doesn't hate me and that the coffee thing was just a chance to catch up and that he knew I was married when he offered, but he says the subject of me is a little touchy, when I asked why he said he didn't know. SO I don't know if he really does know and just doesn't want to tell me or if it's just one of those things that is just touchy. I guess I'm ok not knowing why it's oh so touchy and I love knowing that he doesn't hate me. So now I can go on to my every day normal thoughts LOL Yay me for once again not being hated :D

^^
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That's the power of just asking :D

Master Bedroom

Well, I have finally completed the painting in our bedroom. :) My husband and I love it! The new comforter is on and the room is all cleaned up! I'm SO excited! I figured I would upload some photos so you can all see :)



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And now you've seen it! Well you've seen all of it except for the window wall but I can't get a picture of it due to lighting, but I'll keep trying :)

2010-2011

Another year has come and gone and here we are in 2011! We have another exciting chance to make new adventures, new friends, new challenges, new resolutions,.... A chance to find love or keep the love we have. To break away from the old and find something new and exciting OR to cling to that which we know. Well, whatever you decide to do I hope that you have a WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC 2011!