Cleaning Day

     Have you ever noticed that you have a specific day that you seem to want to clean more? I have. My day is Friday. The only bad thing about the day that my mind/body chose is that I'm completely busy on Fridays ( at least during the hours I'd want to clean ) 

    Now part of me thinks that it's that day because I'm already busy therefore I have an excuse for not cleaning, I had work. Or maybe that's just the day that I see fit for cleaning, I don't know. 

     Today, to be honest, I would have much rather stayed home and done some MUCH needed cleaning. But we need the money and my family needs someone in the "shop" ( office ) 

     You'd think out of all the other days and all the "spare" hours that I have that I would have a spotless house, my 1 year old doesn't really do spotless or sitting still so that I can clean lol. I have so much laundry that needs put up that I have a mountain of clothing in my room, all my clothing, luckily Miles puts up his own clothes and most of the time he'll put up Seth's too. 

     All this brings me to some good news! Miles is going to be going to 2nds in January! Hopefully with him home and helping to watch Seth I'll be able to get more done! Cross fingers, knock on wood, and whatever else I can do to make that happen lol. 

       I hope you all had a great Christmas and that you're having a great day today :)  

      

Follow Up Doctor Appt.

      Almost 2 weeks ago I had my follow up appointment with my doctor about my antidepressant (escitalopram generic of lexapro). 

      Basically all he asked was if it was working and if I was still having any side effects from it. 

     After asking those questions he talked to me about the length of time that people stay on this medication and why. Basically they found that keeping a person on this medicine for 9 months to a year gets rid of the depression completely. After that period of time a person can decide if they want to go off of it and see how it goes or if they can decide not to rock the boat and stay on it, either way is fine. He didn't ask me to decide right then and there, but I did make up my mind when I was there. I'm going to take it for a year then go off of it an see how it goes. If I don't need it great, if I do than I do. 

     There's been one hard thing about being on these pills (besides the first 2 weeks) and that's realizing that you're still going to have bad days. Why? Because you're human. I may be having a great day one day and be in an awful mood the next day. Antidepressants aren't meant to put us on a permanent high, they're meant to help you deal with the hard days better than you did before aka instead of wanting to kill your spouse you may now just want to slap them lol. 

     Sorry it took me so long to post. Hopefully after the Holidays I'll be able to get a better blogging schedule. And find other things to blog about. Maybe something interesting with pictures! Lol. 

    I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And of course good mental health :) 

Seth Update

     So I haven’t talked about Seth in a while. So how about an update on him? Sound good? I thought so.

   

     For those of you who don’t know, Seth was born on September 27, 2012. This makes him 1 year, 2 months, and so many days lol.

     He’s been walking since 8 ½ months. He started running not to long after that. Now he’s “faster than a speeding bullet” and hard to catch.

      He loves to get into things (What kid doesn’t? lol.) Plants, food, bowls, lids, pots and pans, laundry, the litter box(Eww, eww, eww, eww!), you name it.

    He has 8 teeth. He’s had these teeth for a while now and I see no signs of any others popping out soon, but all babies are different so we’ll see.

     He loves potatoes; mashed, baked, fried, etc.; Daddy, mommy, Grandma, and Grandpa; Waving to complete strangers as if he’s seen them every day of his life. He loves to be held, hugged, kissed, and cuddled; watching TV, playing with cars, books and in bath time. He loves to be loud and strut his stuff, yes he’s 1 and he struts. It’s adorable! He loves to chase the cats and be around any animals that are near. He also loves to snack ALL DAY LONG!

    He hates beans; refried, ham and beans beans, etc. I can’t say I blame him for this I didn’t like beans so much as a kid either. He hates when Daddy is home and isn’t playing with him. The boy LOVES his daddy! He hates that the cats won’t let him pick them up. He HATES leaving Grandma and Grandpa’s house or them leaving our house. He cries and screams and it’s sad because he’s sad, but adorable because he loves them so much. When they come over he points out the door as if to say “Ok, let’s go. I’m coming with you!” Lol.

    He is definitely all boy. Tools, cars, machinery, vroom vroom sounds, wrestling with dad, action movies, sports, etc. it’s his thing.

    There is rarely a day that he is shy. He flirts with the female cashiers at Walmart, waitresses, random women. It’s adorable, for now. I’m sure I’ll have a hard time when his flirting might actually result in a relationship. YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM HE’S MINE! I’m keeping him forever! Lol. I wish.

    Today for the first time we gelled his hair into a fo-hawk (whatever the correct spelling)  It is so adorable, but I’m wondering how long it will stay that way. 

     Well, I can’t think of anymore to say at this moment, but feel free to ask me a question if I forgot something that you’d like to know. (Comments below)

    

    Hope you’re all having a great day!

Work Well

     Most days at work the day just drags on. I’m talking about work on Fridays at the Motel. I have people coming in and out to pay rent, fill out applications, ask questions, a couple people that come in to get their mail, people filling out leases, etc. It’s never the same amount of people. Some days I’m swamped with people all day long with only minutes in between and other days I might as well be sitting in a cemetery.

   

    Today I didn’t have a lot of people coming in, but it still seemed to go by quickly! Thank God!!

   It’s not a hard job by any means and most of the time I like working here.. Well, as much as you can like getting up out of your nice, warm bed and going somewhere besides the recliner at this “early” in the morning. My early is like10am lol. I don’t seem to function right until sometime after 10. But I get up on Fridays at 8:30 and get to the Motel around 9:45, open at 10. 5 hours of work like this really isn’t difficult most days. As long as I’m not swamped or as long as the day isn’t dragging it’s “a piece of cake” I’ve got a great boss *wink* (For those of you who don’t get that my stepdad is my boss lol) (And he is a great guy)

    You know family owned and operated businesses really are great, it’s a shame that you can’t find many family businesses anymore. Just saying.

    My job consists of filing things, dusting, vacuuming, taking out trash, doing dishes,  doing laundry (wash, dry, fold, and put away), receiving rents, complaints, maintenance issues, signing leases, delivering mail, some computer work, trying to keep things organized (Not an easy job around here!), etc. None of it is hard. Although filling out a lease when you can’t seem to keep track of what you’re doing and having a hard time remembering things is complicated. You have to fill it out, explain it to them, have them sign, go over some rules, tell them where things are, make sure to copy their ID, get their rent and deposit, and give them the keys. It doesn’t really sound that hard, but when your head is pounding and your mind is on 50 different things it gets a lot harder. So now you know basically everything that my job consists of. Jealous? Lol. I’ve been working here since December of 2010. The longer you’re here the more things you have to learn, but there’s only so much you can do in 5 hours with people coming in and out.

 

    I had a great day. Hubby brought me Chinese! He’s so great. He can be a butthead, but he can be really sweet too. I got to see my sister for like ½ a second lol. I got a break from my adorable, but frustrating little boy. Sure did miss him while I was working.  And I felt like I accomplished quite a bit while working, but most of it is unfortunately not in noticeable things :/

 

     Well, I hope you all have a fabulous weekend. Do something fun for me! LOL.

I have an addiction!

   I'm here to confess that I have an addiction. Scared? I'm not! It's a good addiction! 

    I'm addicted to salads! Every single day I NEED a salad. I've noticed if I don't have a salad I get to feeling funny. I feel so good eating something that is so healthy (at least way healthier than my normal food) I still eat some normal unhealthy foods, but I've found that I prefer salads.  

      Give me a bowl, lettuce, green onions, tomatoes, green pepper, red pepper, croutons, some ground pepper, and Olive Garden dressing or Sweet and Tangy French dressing and I'm in heaven! I could literally have this salad for every meal of the day and be perfectly happy! 

      I've also noticed that I've lost some weight so of course that's a plus! I love healthy addictions! How come I can't have more of them?!

      Anyone else have any healthy addictions they'd like to share? I'd love to find another healthy addiction to add to my list!  

Almost 3 weeks on antidepressants!

      Hi there, readers! I know I said before that I was going to try to write every day about my journey with antidepressants and I had fully planned on it, but then I realized that you really don’t see much change every single day. The change is seen more weekly than daily so I won’t blog about it every day, but I will hopefully find the time to blog about it every week.

       I can definitely say that having these antidepressants have helped me so much. I have less anger, I’m more willing to get up and do things, I clean more, I’m happier more, and a GREAT thing is my skin is clearing up! Who knew?! Hey clearer skin is always a plus!

     I used to get way more upset and angry about things that really, in the long run, aren’t that important. Examples: Seth spilled something or he’s not listening to me about not doing something, etc. Now I’m not as angry I just deal with it and go on. Now don’t get me wrong if he’s being disobedient all day and a terror then yes, I get very upset, but I’m still able to control it more than I used to.

     Each day, except maybe the weekends; I get up do some laundry, dishes, pick up the stuff on the floor, etc. Whereas before I just wanted to sit in my recliner and watch movies and that was all I really did. Shame on me yes, I know. Thankfully I have a husband that likes to have a clean house enough that even after working hard came home and cleaned too. Depression hasn’t really made me the best wife, but I’m working on that now.

     I know a lot of people are probably wondering why I’m posting about my depression and being on antidepressants; to a lot of people dealing with depression is like a sin that you hide from the world. Well I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong about it. Some people will never deal with depression; if that’s you you’re lucky. But there are many people who do deal with depression. Maybe they’ve had a traumatic event in their life that caused it or maybe they’ve had the perfect life and still got depressed. Depression can be passed down through the family. How? Who knows! But it happens. To many people are being quiet about their depression, people who have a worse case than mine because people have made them feel like there was something wrong about it and guess what a lot of them kill themselves. What a waste of a life. If the whole world would stop acting like it’s some disease and start helping these people fight it and get help there’d be a lot less deaths. I was lucky to be a mild case of depression. I can’t imagine dealing every day with the thought of wanting to kill myself. Your body/brain is supposed to have this survival instinct, but this would be like your body turning on itself. I can imagine that most of them kill themselves just so they can stop thinking about killing themselves every day, it’d be maddening. They didn’t ask for this. No one with any level of depression asked for this. Everyone wants to be happy and successful.   

SO HELP THE DEPRESSED! 

Stop the madness! 

1 Week & 4 Days on antidepressants

I feel better! 

      Physically I'm not nauseous anymore! *clapping* YAY!! I still have some issues with dizziness, blah! But I'll take that any day over the nausea. Now the dry mouth is very annoying, but I'd rather be mentally well with a dry mouth than mentally ill and my mouth be normal.  

      Mentally I feel better too :) I feel happier. I'm looking at myself in a better way and getting up and doing more. I've even exercised some lol. 

     I know that I will still have bad days, who doesn't? But at least I'll have more better days than before. "If there's no ups and downs in your life you're dead." I'm not sure who said that or if I even quoted it right, but it's true either way. You have good days and bad days and the only time it's going to stop is when you're dead. Today is almost over and I don't know if tomorrow will be a high or a low, I'm just praying that God and my antidepressant gets me through it. I hope to one day not just get through the days but march through them triumphantly knowing that at the end of each day I did my best and that I did what I love and believe in. 

  

      I hope you all have a goodnight. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! :) 

1 Week On Antidepressants

     I didn't post for a couple of days, sorry about that. I was busy spending time with my family and being nauseous and dizzy with a side of headache. 

     In case you're wondering if I ever got those foods I was craving I'm happy to tell you that I did get most of them! Miles was kind enough to get me Chinese and pickles on Saturday :) They both tasted great to me. 

     I still continue to deal with nausea, but I'm happy to report that it's getting better! I'm starting to not feel sick as much. 

     I'm also glad to report that I took the last of my other medicine this morning!!! Yay!!!!!! 

    I continue to get headaches, but they don't seem to be migraines like they were at first. 

    Sunday was by far my dizziest day. I was dizzy standing up and sitting down. I went to church Sunday morning and seriously thought I might pass out a few time during the service. I stayed seated the whole service and even then Miles said that I was flush the whole service. By the time we went to leave my mom said my face was red... One extreme to the other. I felt awful. 

      Today I have a headache and I can't tell if I'm dizzy or if the headache is just messing with me. Luckily no nausea at this moment or at least not enough to stop me from doing something I want to do. Given that it doesn't require anything being on my stomach. 

      I forgot to tell you all that Seth did get a fever and he was sick, but he's all better now besides what I think is just sinuses or a cold: sneezing, runny nose, and some coughing. He's happily playing and running around like his normal self though. 

       I took a full pill last night (of my antidepressant) and I didn't get sick or feel terrible so my body must just be used to it now. 

       Once I get passed the headaches and dizziness I'll try to start informing you how my actual thinking and attitude have changed. The headaches cause pain with to much thinking so I try to avoid it lol. 

     Hope you're all safe and having a good day after the terrible storm we had yesterday. 

Day 4 On Antidepressants

       Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I felt awful yesterday. We went out to see the new store (Ruler Foods) and I was fine on the way there and was fine for maybe 5 minutes once we got in the store, but then my nausea kicked in and it stayed the rest of the day. I do better if I just sit or lay and watch tv. The tv takes my mind off the nausea. I guess that has to do with being focused on one thing. I haven't found anything else that works as well. Obviously car rides, work, getting up and walking, etc. all makes me worse so I avoid them as much as possible. 

       It seems to get worse instead of better but maybe that's because I'm always feeling so sick. My days and nights also seem to be lasting forever. I can't seem to get a really good nights sleep between Seth, waking up on my own, and the kitten attacking me there's not many hours during the night that I don't see. 

      I've added powdered donuts to the list of things that I can eat. They were giving them away free to the first 200 customers at Rulers. I've been wanting pickles, tomatoes, and Chinese. None of which do I have or will Miles get for me. 

      My body knows when it's time to take my medicines and I start feeling super ill around an hour or so before it's time to take them. Luckily after tomorrow I'll be off of one of my medicines and I'll hopefully be better at least throughout the day. We'll find out. 

       There's a week and a day left until my nausea from the antidepressant should be over. I really hope that's as long as it goes on. 

      Today is starting off better it seems.We'll see how the rest of today goes, hopefully well!  

        

Day 3 On Antidepressants

    Well today has been more of the same: nausea, headache, dizziness, etc. It was a little worse today than it had been before but today is almost over which means I'm one day closer to being side effect free! Today's been so bad that I've thought that I'm going to throw up, but so far I haven't. 

    I've had some trouble thinking today more like I had before the pill can't decide if that's because the pill or the nausea or what. I just hope that tomorrow will be better! 

     Thanks to my mom I bought some 7Up and I can drink that without feeling sick. Everything else made my nausea worse. I'd tried water, tea, powerade, koolaid, milk they all made me worse. I was barely drinking anything because it made me feel so blah. 

      As for food mashed potatoes, crackers, totinos cheese pizza, and baked potato are the only things I've ate that didn't make me feel like I was about to lose everything I'd ate. I'm barely able to eat I either have no appetite or everything makes me feel sick. My complete list of what I've ate today is 2 crackers, a couple bites of mashed potatoes, and 1 baked potato with butter, salt, and pepper. Well if I've got 2 weeks of this I better at least lose 5 lbs! Lol. 

      Well I'm on to more relaxing and trying to keep myself from feeling to ill. 

     

Day 2 On Antidepressants

     Today I was able to sit and hold Seth without a million thoughts running through my head. I doubt if that was because of the medicine since it normally takes 3 weeks for it to do anything. All I know is that it was nice. No headache, no distractions.

    When I'd contacted my doctors office about having thrown up they said that it was not normal an that I should only take half of my pill for a few days to get my body used to being on it and then try taking a whole one again. I took half a pill last night and thankfully I didn't feel as nauseous and I didn't get sick. I have to admit that I'm a little scared to take a whole pill again, but after a few days I'll try it again. 

       I've felt nauseous throughout the whole day. I'm on 2 medicines that have side effects of nausea. Luckily the other medication is an antibiotic so I'll be off of it soon. Hopefully I'll stop feeling as nauseous after I'm off of that. 

     I've noticed that since I've been on the medicine that I'll wake up around 8am and feel awake, but I know I need more sleep so I continue to try to sleep until Seth wakes up, which is normally  soon after 8. By the time 10am comes I'm tired all over again. The past 2 days I've had to take a nap when Seth did because I didn't feel I'd make it through the rest of the day without it. I guess I felt that way before the medicine I just never seemed to be able to fall asleep before. Thankfully I should be getting more energy in about a month. If depression is what causes my energy loss the medicine should take care of it. Along with a page full of other issues lol. 

      Today had plenty of feeling icky and a headache. 2 weeks until I should be symptom free and 2 of those days are already done. I'm used to headaches and not feeling well 2 weeks of this should be easy for me. 

   Oh P.S. Seth seems to be getting some kind of sickness and feeling icky so please keep him in your prayers. 

Day 1 on antidepressants

I took my pill at night even though they suggest to take it in the morning, but I'm glad I took it when I did. It's making me dizzy and nauseous. Seth kept waking me up and after the second or third time of being woken up I actually threw up. Not sure if that's normal so I'm going to have to call the doctors office in the morning. 

It's making me question if my body is accepting of medicine like this, after all I can barely take Tylenol without feeling sick lol. 

I'm still very nauseous and I have a feeling I'm not done getting sick yet. 

Although I was dizzy before the medicine, maybe I was already sick? Who knows. 

More Of What I Want For Christmas

I found a few more things I'd love to have that are at Pier One Imports 

Some more beautiful (and very expensive) dining chairs. I have about 3 places in the house that I want to put nice chairs and these would be gorgeous in one of the places. 

Look at this chest, you can see the price there so I don't need to say anything about that lol. Sorry for the not so great pic, but it's so... Different in a pretty way

Candleholders! I LOVE candles and these holders are so great! 

And last but not least. Look at these vases! They'd go great with the candleholders and they're gorgeous! 

I'm sure I'll find more to post before Christmas, stick around and find out. 

I Am The Face Of...

I am the face of a WIFE

I am the face of a MOTHER 

I am the face of a daughter, aunt, sister, friend, and more. 

I am the face of DEPRESSION

That last one was shocking huh? I bet most people would never have guessed. Even the closest of my friends wouldn't have known.

Depression like most "illnesses" has levels. Luckily mine has always been a very minor depression. I have dealt with it off and on most of my life yet I have never seen a doctor about it. For a while I actually forgot about even though I was still dealing with it because it was my normal. It has effected my energy, the way I eat, the way I think, my friendships, my marriage, my family, it has caused me to waste hours and days of my life, it has caused me to only want to sit and watch tv. 

Depression is serious. It doesn't care who you are, who you were or who you want to be. It does not care if you have a spouse or children to take care of. It does not care if you have a job or even two that you have to have. It doesn't care that it's wasting away your life or making a mess of your relationships. It does not care if you are rich or poor, healthy or sick, good or bad.

 It is depression. It works from the inside out. It starts in your brain and suddenly the rest if you just plays follow the leader. 

Don't judge people who deal with depression, we didn't ask for this. If you think this is the life we've planned for ourselves you're very wrong. Personally I wanted to be extraordinary. I didn't want one piece of my life to be mundane, ordinary, normal, or average. I wanted to have lots of friends, parties, be a co youth leader with my spouse, I wanted to be surrounded by those that love me and those that I love. I wanted to be the person everyone else wanted to be and wanted to be around. Instead I find that my entire life is mundane, stuck in a rut. 

I thankfully have never been suicidal, not to say the thought of death and not having to deal with everything has never crossed my mind, but I would never (purposefully) kill myself or have anyone else kill me. Strangely I'd rather live in my rut than die. 

Today I finally went to the doctor to try to get this resolved. I've been prescribed an antidepressant and I will take my first pull tonight. 

Antidepressants can have side effects such as making you suicidal or more suicidal which is most common in children, teenagers, and young adults. 

We'll see what happens with me. 

I think I'm going to try to blog every day about how it's going, what I'm dealing with, my thoughts, the effects it is causing, if I'm getting better, etc. 

If you're reading this and have depression please don't let it continue. Go to the doctor and get on some medicine don't wake up years later and realize that you've wasted part of your life being miserable. The medicine I was prescribed isn't really expensive so there's no excuse. 

Feel free to follow along with me on my journey out of depression. 

All I Want Fir Christmas Is...

Ok so there isn't really enough room to put ALL the things I'd really like for Christmas but I figured I could post a few things that I'd  seen for the house. 

This lamp is at Walmart and I'd like a couple of them for my upstairs. Aren't they cute?!

This chair is or was at TJ Maxx and I'd line 2 of these.. Well really I'd like 4 of them but I'd settle for 2 especially since they're so expensive. 

This vase also at TJ Maxx would be perfect because the blue/teal is what I want in my decor and the brown is what I'll be painting my living room. They look so great together! 

Obviously I love these two for the color but the plate has a gorgeous design. TJ Maxx. 

Well that's my few things that I'd like for Christmas that I'm going to share. I'll also take gift cards, cash, or a credit card to use that had no expense to myself LOL 

Beautiful Fall

Look at that beautiful tree! Isn't it gorgeous? The picture doesn't quite do it justice. 

Now anyone that knows me can tell you that I hate the cold, but I think Fall is gorgeous. The red leaves are, to me, the best. 

I love the leaves crunching beneath my shoes as I walk. The beautiful colors. The weather where it's not to hot and not to cold. 

There are some things I don't like about it such as Daylight Savings Time, getting darker longer, and when it's just cold and/or rainy. But still it's gorgeous! 

Now if only I could find about 5 trees that's leaves would turn red in the fall instead of yellow or orange (or turn all the above) Then I'd replace the trees I have now... Me and what army, right? Yeah, I know. Lol. 

Another One of These Nights

Nights like these are so hard. You know those nights where someone (or something) is keeping you awake and you know you have to get up "early" in the morning? I say "early" because in my case it's about the normal time, but it's the idea of knowing that I can't sleep in, in the morning that makes it seem early. We'll I'm having one of those... I've had many of those recently. 

Seth does not want to go to sleep at an acceptable hour. I don't know why. And I have to let him sit in his crib and fall asleep on his own or he ends up in my bed around 12 or 1, which is maybe an hour or two after he falls asleep. I get until around 4 or 5 If he falls asleep on his own. 

Hopefully he'll sleep soon or I'm not going to want to get up or do anything tomorrow. And I have plans tomorrow :/

4 Year Anniversary

10/3/09 I married Miles. Tomorrow, which starts in about 10 minutes we'll have been married 4 years! 

I know compared to some that number seems SO small, but in all reality compared to most marriages today that's a huge milestone. 

I'd be lying if I said that these 4 years had been easy. We've fought and disagreed, been mad and wanted to kill each other just like any other married couple. I wish I could say we fought all our battles on our own, but to be honest my parents and God himself have had to step in "a few" times to help us out. (Thank you!)

People always say how hard marriage is, but it's just one of those things that you really don't understand just how hard it is until you're there.. In a big pile of dept, in a fight with your spouse, at home alone depressed, or whatever other thing comes along. And just wait until you add a little one into the mix! 

I'm happy and proud to say that I've been married for 4 years. I've done what some people couldn't. I fought the fights, cried the tears, been depressed, felt alone, and still stuck to it (with help). I think a lot of marriages are failing because they refuse to let someone help. Trust me it's not fun asking for help, but it's needed and you need the type of people around who are going to help you even when you frankly just want to give up. I've always been upset because so many people have went on and got degrees or they have something awesome that they've accomplished and here I feel like I've done nothing, but I've done something that some of them "can't" do. Do I still want my thing that I look and say "wow that was an awesome accomplishment!"? Yes, of course I do. I want that degree. I want that job. But for now I've accomplished being married for 4 years and being a mommy for 1 year, both of which are a pretty big deal. 

Happy or sad, good or bad, "rich" or poor, we made it to 4! 

Shift Change.................

My husband signed up for a shift change at work, awesome! But this has been around a month or two ago.Well they finally found people to hire to take his place and so these people were being trained. First one left and never came back and then they got the second guy, awesome! Well now my husband informs me that they are postponing all shift changes! UGH! I believe he said its something to do with the drastic number of people coming in and people changing shifts. Don't  get me wrong I'm sure it's hard to keep track and train and get everyone where they're supposed to be, but I'm getting punished for it. 

Yeah, yeah "Way to make it about yourself" I know. But I am being punished because my son and I feel like we never see him (Seth can't talk but you can tell by the way he acts) Quite frankly it's depressing. Then you add all the other issues on top of it and yeah, I'm pretty glum. I know that he's going to go to second shift and that it's going to help, I know with time money won't feel so tight, I know that God will help us through all of this just like He always has, but as all humans, I want it NOW! 

Anybody have a Xanax? Lol.

Baby shower and a birthday party

Today was a very busy day! I had a Baby Shower at 11am and then I had Seth's Birthday Party at 4pm. 

The shower was great. They did Autumn decorations instead of a baby theme and I must say it was refreshing. She is having a baby girl, which we all know girls are much easier to buy for and she got a ton of clothes! Including a dress we had bought I case we were having a girl... I had a hard time getting rid of that, but it will be so nice to see a little one in it.  She also got some pretty awesome things like a spoon that has an attached container that you put the food in and you squeeze it and the food comes onto the spoon and also a spa bath for baby! Food was great. And even though they didn't do games we all had a great time. Very, very refreshing! 

As for Seth's Birthday party I had to do all the major setup today. I had pre-made the runners for the table and had finished those last night, but all the tables had to be moved outside, the happy birthday sign put up, the food made, cakes baked (yes, I made our cakes), chairs put out, etc. it was a lot of work and we had a lot of family coming over, but it all went really well and Seth got some great gifts. Clean up is going to be a monster, but it was worth it for such a successful first birthday party. 

Seth had a great time digging into his cake, he ended up eating so much that he puked... Didn't help that he was running around. He really enjoyed playing with his nephew and nieces and with his new toys. 

Now I'm relaxing in my recliner so ready to go to bed, but sadly Seth is not... How normal lol. 

I hope you all have a great night and a blessed Sunday! 

One Year Old!

My Seth turns 1 today! Its a miracle we've made it to 1. I'm so excited and I can't wait to see what this up and coming year has for us.

I'd be lying if I said that this year had been easy. There have been times I thought I was going to lose it, times I wanted to pull my hair out or maybe even pull Seth's hair out lol. But I can also tell you for every time I've been upset I've been happy. For every time I've cried out of frustration I've cried thinking about Seth growing up and moving out. 

There were many times I thought we wouldn't make it to his first birthday because I'd lose it before we got there. No one can really tell you how much your life changes once you've had a kid, they may try but no one can fully explain it. 

I have a walking, running, crawling, cat chasing, tail pulling, car loving,... 1 year old! 

One year ago today I was laying in a hospital bed terrified, feeling so sick, having some of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and wondering can I really do this? And here we are, I did it ad I can do this. 

He was and still is the most perfect and beautiful baby I've ever seen. I've never known of a baby that was so well behaved. 

I'm so glad I went against all my better judgment and decided to have a baby. 

So happy birthday to the most perfect baby ever! Happy birthday, Seth! 

Success! :D

Yesterday was another successful day of staying off of Facebook! I'm hoping to make it until Sunday. I'm upset because I'll "miss out" on seeing what people are doing and hearing about their day and funny stories, but I know I'm doing the right thing. 

I found a new app to get on. Don't worry this is a productive app. It's called duolingo and you can learn quite a few languages on it. I chose Spanish since I should know at least a little Spanish since our community has so many Mexicans and some don't know English. I don't agree with them not knowing English since they're in America and that's what we speak, but I've wanted to learn Spanish anyways. 

Well off to what I hope to be another productive, successful day. Have a great day everyone! 

Facebook Fast

I've seen so many people do Facebook fasts some for a few days, some a week, and some even longer. I've never really done a Facebook fast, but I believe that it is a very good idea. 

I decided yesterday ( after having already been on Facebook) that I wanted to do my own Facebook fast. So most of yesterday and so far all of today I've stayed off Facebook. If it says I'm online it's because I have Facebook messenger and it seems to leave me on there. 

I knew it would be difficult to do a Facebook fast, but I didn't realize just how difficult. I've caught myself going to open the app on my phone when I was bored and of course stopped myself. I must get on Facebook a lot because I know I'm bored a lot and it's my go to. 

Today I found myself bored and though I wanted to get on Facebook I decided to read this book I've been reading called The Prayers of Jabez (the for teens version) by Bruce Wilkinson. It's 104pgs plus a study chapter and it's a really good read, I totally would suggest this book. I finished that and I have other books that I haven't finished that are by Ted Dekker, a Christian author, so I'll be using my fasting time to read those. I'm excited! 

I haven't really finished a book since I had Seth. So I was very excited to finish even a teens book. Hey you've gotta start somewhere. 

Between reading, blogging, taking care of Seth, and being on our 24 hour prayer chain I should be able to keep myself busy enough to refrain from getting on Facebook. 

Now to clean up a little while Seth naps :)

The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson

I just finished reading the book The Prayer of Jabez for Teens by Bruce Wilkinson. You may be asking this question. You're 23 years old, why are you reading the teen version? Well I'll answer. Because that's the version that my husband had before we got married. We don't own the adult version I'm sure it says just about the same thing, but with different examples so I'm not worried about it. Plus my burden is the Youth so why not read something that I may be able to use later in life for the Youth? 

It's a very good book. I believe every Christian should read it. This version is fairly short at only 104 pages and the book itself isn't tall or wide so that's why there are more pages. 

Bruce writes 6 chapters:

Little Man, Big Prayer

So Why Not Ask?

Born For More

The Power Source

Gladiator Lessons

  and last, but not least

Making Jabez Yours

There's also a Study Guide with Jabez Conversations, which from viewing is mainly for someone wishing to use this book for teaching a Sunday School class.  Which I believe would make a brilliant Sunday School lesson. Well it would actually make about 6 Sunday School lessons. 

Bruce talks about a few things that I'd never heard before, one being S.P.A.M., which stands for Spritual Preparation And Meditation. It says that the SPAM challenge is a week to 2 month challenge where you fast from secular books, tv, magazines, movies, and music. This fast like others is to grow closer to God, to take your relationship with God to the next level. 

In this book Bruce talks about using this prayer everyday and making it our own. He believes that sometimes God doesn't bless us even when He has a blessing He'd like to give us because we didn't ask Him too bless us. He also tells us to be aware that when you ask for the things from the prayer if Jabez that once you get them you might feel overwhelmed. 

You should really take the time to read it! 

Revival Out Loud

Josh Herring

Acts 5 

Revival Out Loud 

Last night at Christian Life Church (CLC) Bro. Josh Herring came and preached. He told us story after story, none of them were hard to believe although I'm sure some did find it hard. Stories involved spirits, Death, witches, dreams, testimonies. 

He didn't speak long before going into a what I'd assume was more like an old fashion Apostolic Pentecostal altar call.

God was in that place. Every person that had the Holy Ghost was speaking in tongues, people were filled with the Holy Ghost, baptized, released from addictions, and I'm sure there was some healings that I just haven't heard the testimonies from yet. 

I prayed to see people dance, praying facedown in the floor, healed of addictions, receiving the Holy Ghost, being baptized, and all the saints being renewed I'm the Holy Ghost, along with several other things... And guess what they all happened! 

If you missed this service you missed out on a great blessing, a great refreshing, a great renewing, and just an awesome move of God. Which makes me feel sorry for you. 

I'm expecting more services just like that one and even greater! I cannot wait to see what God has in store!

Aww They're So.... Annoying

Isn't it amazing how when a woman is pregnant everyone wants to hear posts about the pregnancy, see maternity pictures, hear about doctor visits, etc. and of course once the baby is born we all want to know the date of birth, time, weight, height, see pictures, etc. but have you noticed that after a few weeks or maybe a month we get annoyed at seeing all the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,... photos and statuses that they post about their baby? 

I know when I had Seth I was trying to be  very conscience of the fact that other people were excited for me, but they weren't as excited as me and that their excitement would fade very quickly. So I've tried to not post a lot of pictures of him ( or even myself.. Whole other blog post) because I know I don't want to see a ton of pictures of someone else's baby a month or so after they're born so why would they want to see mine?

I know of plenty of people who refuse to think about others. It's not like we can magically make your pictures go away that we don't want to see but keep the others. 

Point being try to remember that yes, we are excited for you, but not as excited as you and that our excitement will fade. 

Every baby does cute things and its always so much cuter when it's your baby, to you, but the person next to you is thinking "it was cuter when my baby did it".... True story. 

What Do You Mean You Can't Say?!

Have you ever noticed that there are some things in life that there is no tasteful or Christian way to talk about or blog about? 

Day after day I'll think of subjects that I would really like to be able to blog about, but there is no proper way to do so. It's so frustrating. 

These are just normal everyday things that range from being born to dying. Things we all do, but its just not something to discuss, no matter how important the subject. 

Example:Let's say I was sick and someone was to ask what my symptoms were and one of my symptoms was diarrhea. Would I tell that person that was one of my symptoms? No way, not unless it was a doctor or a very close family member. It's just not something you talk about. Most of us would answer stomach troubles or something along those lines. 

Anyways I just find it annoying that there are so many topics, some that are important (a lot more important than the above example) that I just can't blog about due to it being inappropriate.

Guess that answers why I don't blog as much anymore....

Praying Hard or Hardly Praying?

I find it funny how so many people call themselves Christians, including myself. 

My church is having this 24 hour week long prayer chain and I signed up. Which means that each day for 1 week I'm to pray at that time for the whole hour! Now I knew this would be difficult when I signed up, but I did it anyways. 

How sad is that? I mean seriously we call ourselves Christians but how many of us actually take the time out of our day to pray for an hour or two or even 30 minutes? I can tell you that I normally don't and that's why this is so difficult. 

I know that I should pray more, we all do. We make time for work, friends, family, television, video games, etc. but we don't make time for God. I don't know what else to say except its sad. 

Prayer keeps us strong, it makes us better people, it gives us a greater relationship with God, and so much more. So why on earth do we push out something so important? Last time I checked my movies, shows, video games, and all that other stuff isn't helping me to be a better me. It isn't strengthening me. Maybe it scares us. Maybe we're "to busy". Maybe we forget. 

So sad, so sad.

Lots of Love

      Believe it or not there are many different forms of love. There’s the love of parents, the love of children, the love of siblings, the love of friends, the love of boyfriends, the love of a fiancé or a husband, the love of a Pastor, and many, many other forms of love.

     I’ve heard people say that you can’t love more than one person at a time, but that’s not true. I love my parents, I love my son, I love my husband, I love my friends, my Pastor, my siblings, etc. I even love my ex’s. Different loves. I love my ex’s, but I’m not in love with them. I loved them, but didn’t want to marry them.

     All love is, is caring about someone. With my ex’s I care about them. I want them to have a great job, with a nice, loving family, and a house to call their own. I want them to be happy, and that is love.

    I can love a stranger or even an enemy. Whether I know someone or not I can still care about their soul and their happiness and that is love.

     Don’t limit yourself to thinking you can only love one person at a time. If you do that the one person you’ve chosen will be your whole life and one day you’ll regret that and even resent them. And what happens when that one person leaves you or dies? You’ll be miserable.

     So love as many people as you can. Love your friends, your family, the stranger that you just passed by (That stranger could one day be part of your family or maybe even your best friend ), and yes, even love your enemies because believe it or not they have souls and God tells us to love our enemies.

Embarrassed!

Oh the embarrassing things that can happen while being a mommy!
  I've had plenty of things happen since being a mommy that made me blush, but I'll only post about 2 of them today. Btw, both of these have happened in church.
  Ok so the first one happened a month or two back. Church had just ended and I was holding Seth and putting him into his carrier when he decided to pull on my shirt! And yes I was faced towards the back of the church where there were lots of people talking. I don't know if anyone saw it but either way it was completely embarrassing to have my chest being exposed for everyone to see.
  The second thing happened today. We were sitting in the pew during service and we make Seth wear shoes at church, well the rubbery bottom of his shoes grabbed the material on my skirt and pulled the whole side of my skirt up... With a couple sitting on the opposite end of the pew. Thank God it happened while I was sitting down! Once again I don't know if anyone saw this, but I'm sure I was 50 shades of red anyways.
   I can't wait to see what happens next! :/ (Hopefully nothing)

Fulltime

That's right my husband is fulltime now! We are so excited. We finally have insurance again, more money an hour, and a job he loves!

He can get as much overtime as he wants (given that they actually need help)

This is exciting!

Kidney transplant

My step dad is finally getting his kidney transplant! Today!

I had to wake up nice and early to travel to the hospital to be here waiting with friends and family.

The donor, my step aunt is already back in surgery and in about an hour (2 hours after she went in) my step dad will be going back.

This is very exciting and a definite miracle. God knew he needed this kidney and made sure that my step dad's sister was a 100% match. And not only is she a match to him, but also to their sister who has cancer! You can't tell me that God hasn't already supplied the solution to every one of our problems!

Book Post

Hey there bloggers!

Today I thought I’d tell you about this book I’m reading. It’s called Get “Naked” & Find the Love of Your Life by Harlan Cohen.

Now you may be wondering what on earth lead you to this book? I can understand that question. First off it was free. Second it’s about taking steps towards love and right now in life I’m having a hard time giving out much love. Third I was completely bored and needed something to read. Good enough answer? I hope so.

The book talks about locking yourself in a room  that has a full length mirror and putting on a tight thong and pointing out all the things about your body that you love (be it eyes, hair, legs, etc.) And then you list all the things about yourself that you don’t like. After doing that you vow to change the things that you don’t like and vow to learn to love the things that you can’t change.

The next step was to put a clean thong on top of your head (which you don’t have to do) and go through the things about your personality that you do and don’t like. And vow to do as said above.

What the author is doing is the physical,  spiritual, emotional, etc. training that most people need without ever knowing it.

He tells you how to do the things that you’re vowing to do. And plainly points out that there are thousands of people that would like you for who you are, but there are millions that won’t like you. And that sometimes the one person you want to like you won’t. Ouch! But it’s so true.