Thursday, January 13, 2011

I'm not one of his favorites

So I've been very stressed recently. I've been painting, the housework has gotten behind due to my painting, and I haven't been able to sleep very well because there are so many different things going through my head. But the things that has been bugging me the most is that someone I know that was a major role in my life a few years ago hates me or in my words I'm not one of his favorite people. In case you are wondering yes he's an ex and anyone that went to school with me at FCA for my last 2 years would know who I was talking about. And I understand when someone breaks up with you it takes a while to get back to a kind of friendship, but it's been a while and this person had asked me to go out and get coffee (I think was what the offer was) and that was about a year ago, but I was married and it wouldn't have been appropriate plus my husband is a very jealous person especially when it comes to my ex's so I said that I couldn't. But now all of a sudden around a year later the fact of knowing (through a family member of his) that he dislikes me so greatly is bugging me! So of course now I'm having to play detective and ask all these questions of why?! And I wasn't going to ask I was hoping it would just go away and I'd forget about it, but I can't. The fact of knowing that there's this hatred towards me is just eating away at me. So now so I can sleep and a. not think about someone hating me instead of sleeping or b. falling asleep and dreaming of that person hating me. If you can't tell I really don't like when someone hates me. I mean you can dislike me all you want and I'll sleep just fine, but when I think that you hate me that's to far.

Well I text him. Come to find out he says he doesn't hate me and that the coffee thing was just a chance to catch up and that he knew I was married when he offered, but he says the subject of me is a little touchy, when I asked why he said he didn't know. SO I don't know if he really does know and just doesn't want to tell me or if it's just one of those things that is just touchy. I guess I'm ok not knowing why it's oh so touchy and I love knowing that he doesn't hate me. So now I can go on to my every day normal thoughts LOL Yay me for once again not being hated :D

That's the power of just asking :D

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